Lessons from the Back of the Canoe

Last week, my wife and I took a day off together and went canoeing on the Little Miami River. Our wedding anniversary was earlier in the month, but didn't have time to spend together that day, so we made plans for this day trip and celebrated a couple weeks late. It was a beautiful day, and even though the river is a bit low, and we had a couple of times we did get stuck and needed to get out and portage a bit, we had a great time together. We enjoy canoeing together, and plan to go again in the future.

Traveling down the river, I thought that it might be a good exercise for couples to get into a canoe and head down a river as part of their pre-marriage counseling. What a great opportunity to see how well you are going to work together, how well you listen to each other, and how well you deal with the rocks and rapids along the way. (I also thought a good pre-marriage exercise would be to have the couple wall-paper a room together. If the two come out still talking to each other, then we proceed with the wedding!)

Here are some lessons I have learned from the back of the canoe that apply to married life. I imagine you may have more - I would love for you to share them with me.

We are both in the same boat. Genesis and the Gospels are where we find the words that, in marriage, two become one. While we are still individuals who make up this new union, we are together in the same boat.
Paddling is encouraged! It is one thing to get in the boat. It is another to do the work of paddling. Using your paddle provides an opportunity to move forward, and to guide the boat along the river and away from obstacles.
Same boat, but different roles. Depending on where you sit in the canoe, your role is different. The front of the boat is the person who should be on the lookout for obstacles and which direction might be best to head for smooth sailing. The person in the back of the canoe is the one who steers. This one has the ability to turn the canoe and hopefully head it in the right direction
These two roles should not be attempted from the opposite location! If you have ever been in a canoe with a director in the back, or the person in front attempting to steer, it is not pretty.
Listening is strongly encouraged. The person in front needs to listen to the person in back if he or she needs the front person to paddle on one side, or stop paddling on the other side. The person in back needs to hear about dangers and obstacles along the way.
Trust is vitally important. Trusting your partner to do their role is the only way you will make it on the river.
You can change positions in the boat! It might be good to head to shore to do this, but the roles are interchangeable. It might be that one is better at one role than another, but that doesn't mean it always has to be that way.
Sometimes you still run into the rocks. No matter the warnings, the paddling, the use of that paddle as a rudder, the work and effort put into it, sometimes you still hit rocks or a branch. And sometimes you don't see the rocks until you hit them. How you respond to those times might be more telling than all others!
You might tip. It happens. We get wet, and we end up in the water. But the boat is still there, and you can get back in. That's forgiveness. Repentance is learning from that event, and working to make sure it doesn't happen again. (Now on the Little Miami River, we didn't tip over. It would have taken a lot of effort for that to happen. But on other rivers, we have found ourselves in the water.)
Calm waters and white water are a part of the journey. There is time for calm and peace, and there are always going to be rough places along the way. Instead of avoiding them, it is best to work through them together.
It is all a journey. And what a wonderful journey it is. And how wonderful it is to spend the journey together.