It was about two years ago at this time that I was on the the other end of the conversations and interviews, so it is all still pretty fresh in my mind. Much of it is a still a blur. It is an exciting time, but also an anxious time - did I say the right thing? Will I say the wrong thing? What does that facial expression on that call committee member mean? Is this where God wants me? Is this where God wants my family and me? How can I be sure? How can the church be sure?
There is a lot of time devoted to prayer and discernment and conversation with loved ones, colleagues and friends. It is a big step to make, and a substantial commitment on everyone's part. Some have equated it to a dance, or even courting. There is give and take, getting to know you, learning each other and finding out what the other is really like. Yes, we put on our best and do our best to present ourselves in the best possible light, but we also seek to be honest with each other, so in the end there are no surprises. I always figured when interviewing that the congregation was going to learn who I am sooner or later, so it was always best to be honest and up front about everything.
So as we hopefully see that the end of the process may be coming soon, I would like to offer some words of encouragement and guidance in welcoming a new pastor to our church. How we welcome that person and family into our lives in these first months will shape our future together. These are some suggestions I gleaned from others, including Mark Fenstermacher, Lead Pastor of First United Methodist Church in Bloomington, Indiana and Pastor Ron Edmonson, Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky.
- Pray for your pastor daily. Truly, there is no greater comfort for a pastor than to know people are praying for him/her.
- Honor the pastor's family. Especially if there are still children at home, they will need more family time at home, not less. The family is stretched and stressed, out of their comfort zone and pulled in so many directions. Let the family time be honored as much as the church time.
- Tell the pastor your name … again. And again. And again, if necessary. Learning names may be the hardest thing a new pastor has to do. Give the pastor ample time to learn yours. Remember there is one of them and 2000 of you!
- Don’t prejudge. This pastor will make mistakes. Remember, grace abounds, and forgiveness is a gift we receive and are called to share! Yes, look at the new pastor with the eyes of grace. The new pastor will not be a duplicate copy of the former pastor, or current senior pastor. Pastors have different ways of preaching, different ways of leading, and different ways of thinking. I would work hard to let the new pastor be who he or she is created by God to be – not demand he or she match my expectation of perfection.
- Encourage the new pastor to stay well. That means taking a day off, keeping the Sabbath, eating well, getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night, exercising, knowing it is okay to say a loving “no” when parish expectations are unrealistic. Jesus says we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So I would want my pastor to take good care of him- or herself.
- Speak directly with the pastor if I have a concern. I would want to say what I say with love, not huddle with friends in the parking lot following a meeting to discuss the pastor’s strengths and weaknesses. The New Testament way is to be direct with one another.
- Be patient. Vital, life-changing ministry happens with time. Ministry is a long distance run and not a sprint.
- Love the pastor and family. I would want to ask myself if my relationship with my pastor is shaped by what the Apostle Paul has to say in 1 Corinthians 13 about love (am I being patient and kind, not keeping a record of wrongs but rejoicing in the truth).
I imagine you can offer others to the list, but this is a good start.
Continue to pray for the Call Committee and the process itself. May we do that which is pleasing in God's sight!
Peace,
Pastor Charlie
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